when you're with me you're killing mewhen i'm no
by jompalitan
Summary: junsu always feels pain with yoochun but what happen if yoochun want to end all of that. WARNING:YAOI AND CHARACTER DEATH


Foreword

hmmm i make this cause i read a yoosu fic

so sad and i start imagining things

iamfogotten's fic

my first oneshot

:D

oneshot cause I write a sad yoosu

Chapter 1 when you're with me you're killing me..when i'm not with you i'm dying

I love him

I love him too much

even he hurts me million times i still love him

I know he's cheating on me

he even cant stay faithfull for a day

yeah I'm a fool

but what can I do?

when you're with me you're killing me..when i'm not with you i'm dying

It's 11 pm and yoochun still not at home

he must be with yunho, maybe he's still sucking his cock at bar

he ask me to leave him

but I cant. I've tried really

everyone thinks I'm just to kind and such a fool still faithfull and be with him after all what he did

But I'm not

I've tried to cheat on him too but i just cant.

Ah yoochun is coming i better pretend to sleep.

Yoochun come and go to our room he stares at me and feel guilty as always but still do nothing.

Today junsu have nothing to do so he just go to bookstore. Buying a romance books.

Romance novel makes him better at least he knows that someone's out there people can have their happiness with love.

Not like him.

it's already 7pm and he decide to go back home.

He feels something's wrong with the parking lot. He doesnt know what's wrong but he feels it.

And suddenly someone from behind attack him and he just lost his consience.

he wakes up and try to remember everything and he remember he is still at parking lot

he tries to stand up but his back is killing him

I was raped?

I want to cry right now but i do not know why i cant cry

My life is so great by having a boyfriend who always cheating on me and right now i was raped

I laugh

I laugh my lives for being so great right now huh!

I try to wake up and go to my car.

I kept thinking what should I do?

how come i go home and meet yoochun?

I know it is not my fault but still

arghhh

I decide not to go home. I'll stay at hotel and turn off my phone.

I'm home right now

ahhhh why Junsu have to be stupid and innocent

It will be better if he is just like me

a jerk

and It's all my fault why do i have to asked him to be my boyfriend.

Junsu must already sleep right now like always

I go to our room to find junsu

But then

where is junsu?

I tried to call him but his phone is off right now

ahh maybe he stayed at jaejoong's

or maybe he starts to realize that our's realtionship is not worth it at all

and then I sleep

it feels a little bit weird not having junsu beside me.

After stayed at hotel for a week and turn off his phone junsu decide to comeback home

He will say nothing to yoochun about he was raped by someone he doesnt know

he cant tell yoochun.

he decide to cook to calm his heart and head.

although he doesnt know if yoochun will have dinner at home or not.

Yoochun go home a little bit early today.

Yoochun still wondering where's Junsu

he already ask changmin and jaejong but no one's know where's junsu

he surprised seeing junsu at home

he like it though

yoochun: where the hell are you junsu? and what happen with ur phone?

Junsu: ah chunnie, u surprised me . do u want to have dinner now?

Yoochun: ah sorry, and yeah I'm hungry but u do not answer my question yet

Junsu: ohhh sorry i left my phone at home and i met my brother. he insist me to go with him to jeju island. I want to call you but I'm just to excited meet my brother. sorry

Junsu lied to me

why junsu? do u already have someone?

and why I dont like knowing junsu lied to me

Juns u are verry bad liar u are just to innocent

I know fro, ur eyes that you are lying.

I feel so guilty lying to yoochun

but what should i say?

should i say to him

Nothing chunnie I just got raped at parking lot by someone I dont know and i cant meet u i need to calm my head and heart so i choose to stay at hotel and turn off my phone. Now I comeback and hope u still be with me

I cant right

even when i was faithfull to him he cant be faithfull to me

knowing me being raped must make him leave me

and I cant live without him

a week without seeing him make me dying already.

Junsu decide to go to bed after dinner and washing the dishes leave yoochun to watch tv.

he doesnt know why but he feels so tired and fell asleep already

but he wakes up suddenly when he feels someone hug him from behind

he startled try to push but stops when he feels kissed on his neck

he know it's yoochun he can feels yoochun without seeing him

cause he feels so safe and warm

he starts to moan when yoochun kiss his neck and touch his niple.

he really miss yoochun but when he start to enjoy yoochun's touch

he cant stop thinking how dirty he is and he still doesnt know who raped him

ther's a chance he will have std or even AIDS

He cant make yoochun have std or AIDS

he try to push yoochun

Junsu:" chuniie sorry not tonight i'm just so tired and all sory."

Yoochun:" are u okay su? U never say no to me before.

Junsu:" yeah I'm just to tired is it okay?"

Yoochun:" yeah."

what the hell with junsu

he didnt want to have sex with me anymore?

ahhh I'll cal yunho then

yoochun calls yunho

i hear him

he will go out ahh i really need his embrace but i can have sex with him really

Junsu:chunnie please dont go I'm sorry right

Yoochun: what happen junsu? u never protest about it before

Junsu: yeah but i really need u now

Yoochun: yeah but i cant have my need now with u right stop try to change me Junsu

Junsu: I never ask u to change chunnie please

Yoochun:" what? ahhh this is it ! u always want to make me guilty right i cant stand anymore junsu. I'm leaving u right now!

junsu shocked hearing yoochun breaking up on him

Junsu speechless

and he just starred yoochun's back leaving him

he feels so empty right now

he doesnt know what to do

I cant do this anymore

Ican have this live anymore

My hearts hurts too much and cant stand it anymore

I go to kitchen and take the knife

for once in my life I'll be egoist

I'll decide things for myself

God can choose me to fall in love with yoochun and suffer

God can choose me to suffer and raped by someone

but right now I'm the who will be choosing

I'll choose how and when I will die

I'm calm right now

I'm not stressed

ah but Icant suicide with knife

how if i have HIV and people who touch my blood will get it

I go to my dad's house

my dad is aleady asleep

i go to his cabinet and take a few bottels

and i go home

and then I'm driving

I do not know where I'll be going

i drive till my gas run out

then I walk till I cant walk again

i open that bottles

and drink it

and i feel sleepy and calm

goodbye yoochun

goodbye all

tonight I'm choosing mine over all of you

4 years later

Yoochun in his last breath.

Yoochun remembers all what already happen in his life

My name is yoochun

I have AIDS

yeah

I have AIDS because I'm hurting the one I love

2 years ago I know I have AIDS

and Yunho too

and I'm not angry

I feel like it's God punishing me for hurting junsu

4years ago Junsu found died

he died caused OD from morphine

he drank alot of morphine tha night

he got from his dad cabinet who had cancer

and that morphine is for him if he cant stand the pain anymore

I cant believe Junsu suiced

and icant stop blaming myself

jaejoong and changmin hate me

and Yunho leave me

I lived like a zombie after then

Then 2 years ago i know i had cancer

and I decide not to have medication

And I feel it right now

I'll meet junsu in a few momments

Junsu forgives me

yeah it sucks hahahaha


End file.
